Apology can control internal communication and help personal development by expert Marsha Petrie Sue
Marsha Petrie Sue
April 06, 2008
Have you ever messed up so bad that you were embarrassed to even bring it up no less apologize? I have and I did! I was scheduled for a professional development meeting and missed the start time. Being late is rude, unprofessional, and intolerable. My internal communication went wild. In my ultimate wisdom, I "upgraded" technology meaning my world has been turned upside down. My mind is spilling over with new gadgetry including an iCal calendar that I have been told is much better than anything on the market. Grind that up with a new "upgraded" iPhone cell phone, and I am totally nuts.
The good news is my learning curve is being challenged… and I like that. The bad news is I was fifteen minutes late for a meeting that involved a large group of people. Beating myself up will not solve anything. Evaluating the "why" part of my tardiness and time management I believe will … as I take personal responsibility for my screw up.
Here´s what I´ve learned in the last 24 hours.
I have too much on my plate and I´ve done it all myself. Solution: prioritize with new eyes. Larry Winget, (www.LarryWinget.com) my mentor and friend, said "Stop everything except your personal life and your business. You have plenty of time for the rest AFTER your business is where you want it."
Trying to satisfy everyone else and being "nice" to everyone that asks for anything is not always the best choice. Solution: every time I say "yes" to anything and put something on my calendar, ask myself, "Is this activity going to move me closer or further away from my goals."
When I do make a mistake, understand why and stop beating myself up. Solution: Say I´m sorry, ask for forgiveness, learn from it, and move on. (Easier said than done!)
I had to go back and visit a blog I wrote to shake me back into the real world. My cousin in Florida sent me this link on Jill Taylor´s TED Talk http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229. I thought, "Oh boy, another email that has fwd: in the subject line" - but for some reason I clicked on the link … and am glad I did. My personal development and professional communications has improved from the information. I did not let my negative thinking get in the way.
Here are the five keys to target mental terrorism (that nasty internal voice in my mind) and fire up success:
1. Stay open to new information and don´t let past experiences cloud your focus.
2. Put all judgments aside and suspend making an opinion until you have gathered information.
3. You do become what you think about. Pay attention to the thoughts that fill your mind.
4. Constantly pay attention to how you listen. Turn off all the blather and chatter in your mind. Really, hear what the other person is saying.
5. Ask in-depth questions without becoming too intense or stalker-like.
I can´t get better without allowing time for personal development and learning more about how my brain works. It will improve my job, career, earnings, and productivity. I believe it is my personal responsibility to find the time to do this! In addition, I do have to take personal responsibility for the outcome.
As a professional speaker and keynoter, I often talk about the right and left-brain and how it shapes our thinking and most of all, our communications. The amazing story of Jill´s stroke and how, as a scientist, she was able to really analyze (during the stroke!!) what was happening to her is just amazing.
And we have it easy! Think about your own communication. I am going to challenge myself to do a little spring-cleaning of my thinking by polishing my weaponry of internal communications and go to battle with the mental terrorism. What do you say to yourself when you mess up? Might a consideration to be to challenge that self talk?
The trick for each of us is to understand how the brain changes communications, the power we each have over our thinking, and embrace the control to better manage the outcomes we have. Plain and simple, we must each take personal responsibility for life.
www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
To book Marsha for a keynote or seminar please contact Marcia Snow at MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com.
Featured in the New York Times, Business Journal, Investors Business Digest, Legal Management, WorkWise and more.
The good news is my learning curve is being challenged… and I like that. The bad news is I was fifteen minutes late for a meeting that involved a large group of people. Beating myself up will not solve anything. Evaluating the "why" part of my tardiness and time management I believe will … as I take personal responsibility for my screw up.
Here´s what I´ve learned in the last 24 hours.
I have too much on my plate and I´ve done it all myself. Solution: prioritize with new eyes. Larry Winget, (www.LarryWinget.com) my mentor and friend, said "Stop everything except your personal life and your business. You have plenty of time for the rest AFTER your business is where you want it."
Trying to satisfy everyone else and being "nice" to everyone that asks for anything is not always the best choice. Solution: every time I say "yes" to anything and put something on my calendar, ask myself, "Is this activity going to move me closer or further away from my goals."
When I do make a mistake, understand why and stop beating myself up. Solution: Say I´m sorry, ask for forgiveness, learn from it, and move on. (Easier said than done!)
I had to go back and visit a blog I wrote to shake me back into the real world. My cousin in Florida sent me this link on Jill Taylor´s TED Talk http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229. I thought, "Oh boy, another email that has fwd: in the subject line" - but for some reason I clicked on the link … and am glad I did. My personal development and professional communications has improved from the information. I did not let my negative thinking get in the way.
Here are the five keys to target mental terrorism (that nasty internal voice in my mind) and fire up success:
1. Stay open to new information and don´t let past experiences cloud your focus.
2. Put all judgments aside and suspend making an opinion until you have gathered information.
3. You do become what you think about. Pay attention to the thoughts that fill your mind.
4. Constantly pay attention to how you listen. Turn off all the blather and chatter in your mind. Really, hear what the other person is saying.
5. Ask in-depth questions without becoming too intense or stalker-like.
I can´t get better without allowing time for personal development and learning more about how my brain works. It will improve my job, career, earnings, and productivity. I believe it is my personal responsibility to find the time to do this! In addition, I do have to take personal responsibility for the outcome.
As a professional speaker and keynoter, I often talk about the right and left-brain and how it shapes our thinking and most of all, our communications. The amazing story of Jill´s stroke and how, as a scientist, she was able to really analyze (during the stroke!!) what was happening to her is just amazing.
And we have it easy! Think about your own communication. I am going to challenge myself to do a little spring-cleaning of my thinking by polishing my weaponry of internal communications and go to battle with the mental terrorism. What do you say to yourself when you mess up? Might a consideration to be to challenge that self talk?
The trick for each of us is to understand how the brain changes communications, the power we each have over our thinking, and embrace the control to better manage the outcomes we have. Plain and simple, we must each take personal responsibility for life.
www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
To book Marsha for a keynote or seminar please contact Marcia Snow at MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com.
Featured in the New York Times, Business Journal, Investors Business Digest, Legal Management, WorkWise and more.