Iowa´s 2008 legislative agenda: civility, weight loss and naked pickup drivers
Dan Brawner
January 18, 2008
It is a sad day when Iowans have to be reminded to be polite. It has always been a matter of pride that regardless of individual differences, we remain civil and considerate. An Iowan would bleed to death in the street rather than inconvenience a stranger. "No, no," he´d say. "Don´t trouble yourself. I´m fine."
But now, with increasing partisanship on the floor of our state capitol, Gov. Chet Culver has had to admonish Iowa legislators, as if they were little children, to behave themselves. "We can certainly have our differences," Culver told the Cedar Rapids Gazette, "but we don´t have to be disagreeable about it." The Democrats want to expand health coverage and raise the cigarette tax and Republicans are howling that the state is spending too much money. The bickering between parties has gotten to the point that lawmakers have little time left over for doing what Culver calls, the "state´s business."
Like keeping Iowans safe from naked pickup drivers. Last Sunday, an alert motorist noticed Scott Reierson of Walker, IA sitting naked on a county road in eastern Montana. Actually, Reierson was sitting in his pickup, not on the county road–which would have been prohibitively cold, given the frigid nature of eastern Montana in January. In any case, Mr. Reierson was, in fact sitting and was in a pickup, although it turns out the vehicle wasn´t his but was stolen from someone in Minnesota, where, coincidently it is also very cold in the January.
Local police who arrested Reierson have not revealed what he was doing naked in a stolen truck in Montana, who the vehicle belongs to or whether or not the owner even wants it back now. They would only say that Reierson has a record of drunk driving and reckless use of fire--which, given his choice of attire would be reckless indeed. In fact, pretty much anything he did in that condition could be considered reckless.
Another pressing matter for Iowa is the cumulative corpulence of its citizenry. Records show that 60 percent of Iowans are either obese or overweight. Or both. So Chubby Chet Culver is urging us to participate in the "Lighten Up Iowa" program. Anybody in need of this helpful and supportive weight loss program can go to lightenupiowa.org where they can register their team and team captain--which, I´m sure nobody would do simply as a prank.
Because, Iowans, with the exception of certain legislators, are civil and considerate. Even Scott Reierson who was caught naked in a stolen truck, and liable at any moment to start drinking and burst into flames, was cheerful and polite to the arresting officers. When one of them offered him their coat to help shield him from the sub-zero Montana wind chill, he reportedly said, "No, no. Thank you for asking. I´m fine."
But now, with increasing partisanship on the floor of our state capitol, Gov. Chet Culver has had to admonish Iowa legislators, as if they were little children, to behave themselves. "We can certainly have our differences," Culver told the Cedar Rapids Gazette, "but we don´t have to be disagreeable about it." The Democrats want to expand health coverage and raise the cigarette tax and Republicans are howling that the state is spending too much money. The bickering between parties has gotten to the point that lawmakers have little time left over for doing what Culver calls, the "state´s business."
Like keeping Iowans safe from naked pickup drivers. Last Sunday, an alert motorist noticed Scott Reierson of Walker, IA sitting naked on a county road in eastern Montana. Actually, Reierson was sitting in his pickup, not on the county road–which would have been prohibitively cold, given the frigid nature of eastern Montana in January. In any case, Mr. Reierson was, in fact sitting and was in a pickup, although it turns out the vehicle wasn´t his but was stolen from someone in Minnesota, where, coincidently it is also very cold in the January.
Local police who arrested Reierson have not revealed what he was doing naked in a stolen truck in Montana, who the vehicle belongs to or whether or not the owner even wants it back now. They would only say that Reierson has a record of drunk driving and reckless use of fire--which, given his choice of attire would be reckless indeed. In fact, pretty much anything he did in that condition could be considered reckless.
Another pressing matter for Iowa is the cumulative corpulence of its citizenry. Records show that 60 percent of Iowans are either obese or overweight. Or both. So Chubby Chet Culver is urging us to participate in the "Lighten Up Iowa" program. Anybody in need of this helpful and supportive weight loss program can go to lightenupiowa.org where they can register their team and team captain--which, I´m sure nobody would do simply as a prank.
Because, Iowans, with the exception of certain legislators, are civil and considerate. Even Scott Reierson who was caught naked in a stolen truck, and liable at any moment to start drinking and burst into flames, was cheerful and polite to the arresting officers. When one of them offered him their coat to help shield him from the sub-zero Montana wind chill, he reportedly said, "No, no. Thank you for asking. I´m fine."