What to Know and do if You’re Not in With the “In Crowd”

You would think after middle school and high school -- and certainly after college -- that the social distinction between who is popular and who is not would dissipate. Surely, as adults, we can all coexist and get along on a level playing field … or can we?

Not exactly.

According to a Health.com survey, over 85 percent of adult workers say their office is divided into cliques. These cliques that you have surely seen and/or experienced yourself, are easy to spot: They go out to lunch, get drinks after work and always seem to be laughing at some inside joke you know nothing about.

Not surprisingly, over half of the survey respondents viewed these cliques as “not helpful,” and another 66 percent said they sometimes felt excluded by the “in crowd”.

And feeling left out can feel pretty lousy.

"Many cliques are toxic," says Erika Karres, EdD, assistant professor of education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "Their only purpose is to be anti-productive and anti-supportive."

If you are one of those people who feels left out by the in crowd, whether at work, social gatherings or even in your own family, a simple change in your outlook can make all the difference.

This change takes your current mindset -- “I feel bad that I’m not popular” -- and turns it into “I feel great about myself and my life, regardless of what crowd I belong to.”

You can facilitate this change simply by using the scientifically proven Sedona Method to release your negative thoughts about yourself and  your desire to fit in.

Remember that most people -- even those who are in the in crowd -- have some insecurity, and everyone feels separate even when they are with others,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training at Sedona Training Associates.

“Knowing that you are not odd or alone immediately takes some of the sting away.”

When you get this notion into your head -- that everyone has some insecurity, but you can feel good regardless of other’s reactions to you -- you will find that you can be comfortable, happy and confident in every social and workplace setting.

The other thing that also helps is to let go of wanting to fit in and instead allow yourself to be exactly as you are,” Dwoskin says. “By allowing yourself to love and honor yourself as you are, you bring that confidence to your social situations. Then, whether or not you are part of the in crowd, you feel more relaxed and confident being who you are.”

For more information on the easy to learn Sedona Method, please visit our web site at: http://www.sedona.com.