Happy New Year!
Michael C. Morris
December 26, 2005
Well the New Year is almost here and we will once again begin to pay off this year’s tax debt. We will all be working until June 1st this year for free. Isn't that just grand. Maybe the motto for 2006 should be "NO Taxation without the illusion of Representation" or since this is an election year maybe the motto should be "Give us your tired and old promises that you will never keep".
Yes that is right ladies and gentlemen, you will be working till June 1st for free. Get used to it, it will only get worse from here on out. But I have another little tidbit for you. Sixty percent (60%) of your paycheck will go out in taxes. That figure carries you well beyond the June 1st date. (Must be another government intelligence gathering mistake. Did we do this in joint cooperation with the British?) Between your regular Federal, State and Local taxes, you will also pay property tax, gasoline tax, and cigarette tax, occupation tax (How in the hell to you have occupation taxes? Are we ALL trust fund babies?), utilities tax, phone tax, clothes tax (aren't cloths a necessity, especially in some cases?). Tax on bras, panties, boxers, tax on tires, batteries, and fuzzy dice, tax on breathing, kissing and making love (just made those up but might be a tax at some date), but the worst tax of all is the "Death Tax".
That’s right ladies and gentlemen. The "Death Tax" is the worst of all. You're entire life you paid out sixty percent (60%) of your earnings in taxes and then as they lower your sorry butt into the ground the tax person (want to be PC here) comes to grab another fifty percent (50%) or so of what you managed to hoard for you family. I think all Americans should be buried face down with their butts in the air so that at least we will get a kiss first by the tax person. But it gets even better!
After they take all of your money they spend it on such wonderful things as pork. You know what I mean, not pigs, pork. Pork, like a multi-million-dollar bridge in the middle of a cow pasture with no roads that attach to it. God forbid that a cow has to cross the pasture without the aid of a bridge. I cross bridges all of the time and just because a pothole the size of a tank rips off my wheel is no reason for me to complain. Those poor cows needed that bridge.
In this day of Trillion dollar ($1,000,000,000,000.00) budgets or to put in old math terms, $4000.00 for every man, woman and child in the United States, for every one trillion spent, are we getting our moneys worth? Or are we as a nation going nowhere like that bridge in the middle of the field. When the nightly news tells you some day that you will be working until December 30th to pay your taxes, then answering that question is moot. But you can take comfort in the fact that you get at least one day's pay.
Yes that is right ladies and gentlemen, you will be working till June 1st for free. Get used to it, it will only get worse from here on out. But I have another little tidbit for you. Sixty percent (60%) of your paycheck will go out in taxes. That figure carries you well beyond the June 1st date. (Must be another government intelligence gathering mistake. Did we do this in joint cooperation with the British?) Between your regular Federal, State and Local taxes, you will also pay property tax, gasoline tax, and cigarette tax, occupation tax (How in the hell to you have occupation taxes? Are we ALL trust fund babies?), utilities tax, phone tax, clothes tax (aren't cloths a necessity, especially in some cases?). Tax on bras, panties, boxers, tax on tires, batteries, and fuzzy dice, tax on breathing, kissing and making love (just made those up but might be a tax at some date), but the worst tax of all is the "Death Tax".
That’s right ladies and gentlemen. The "Death Tax" is the worst of all. You're entire life you paid out sixty percent (60%) of your earnings in taxes and then as they lower your sorry butt into the ground the tax person (want to be PC here) comes to grab another fifty percent (50%) or so of what you managed to hoard for you family. I think all Americans should be buried face down with their butts in the air so that at least we will get a kiss first by the tax person. But it gets even better!
After they take all of your money they spend it on such wonderful things as pork. You know what I mean, not pigs, pork. Pork, like a multi-million-dollar bridge in the middle of a cow pasture with no roads that attach to it. God forbid that a cow has to cross the pasture without the aid of a bridge. I cross bridges all of the time and just because a pothole the size of a tank rips off my wheel is no reason for me to complain. Those poor cows needed that bridge.
In this day of Trillion dollar ($1,000,000,000,000.00) budgets or to put in old math terms, $4000.00 for every man, woman and child in the United States, for every one trillion spent, are we getting our moneys worth? Or are we as a nation going nowhere like that bridge in the middle of the field. When the nightly news tells you some day that you will be working until December 30th to pay your taxes, then answering that question is moot. But you can take comfort in the fact that you get at least one day's pay.