Redrum! Redrum! Our lame duck president desperately turns for help to an endangered fish
Dan Brawner
October 23, 2007
Touting his recent veto of the SCHIP bill that would have provided health care for millions of American children, president Bush said it was, “...one way to ensure that I am relevant.”
So it has come to this–the leader of the world’s only super power, having to insist he is relevant. It’s like saying, “I’m not a lame duck. I’m not! I’m not!”
With 15 months to go in his term, Bush is already mired in two messy wars and trying his best to start a third one in Iran as his approve rating in the latest Reuters/Zogby poll has slid to an all-time record low of 24 percent. Meanwhile, that poker-faced stiff he beat out for the presidency, Al Gore, has won a Nobel Peace Prize. There was only one thing to do now–find some endangered fish to protect. That would show those limp-wristed liberals he could be just as environmentally friendly as Saint Gore.
An Associated Press photo showed the president in an open-collared shirt and a jacket with his name embroidered on it, safely holding a tiny screech owl in what looked like a big welding glove. Bush was touring the Patuxent Research Refuge in Laurel Md., fishing for rockfish and pledging to make the world safer for striped bass.
Experts point out that the striped bass is not an endangered species and doesn’t especially need legislation to build up its population. But there are a lot of fishermen who like striped bass and it was no doubt comforting to hear the president say he likes them too. Bush explained, “We’ve got to make sure we’ve got enough to catch as well as enough to eat, and we can do both in a smart way.” If there were any striped bass listening to the president’s speech, they are now probably making themselves as scarce as possible.
The other fish Mr. Bush sought to nurture is the big, easily-spooked trophy fish known as the red drum. Bush signed an executive order on October 20, declaring the red drum a protected game fish that cannot be sold if caught in federal waters.
Maybe it’s just getting close to Halloween. But the name “red drum” makes me think of that Stephen King movie, “The Shining” in which everybody goes crazy and hacks each other to bits. In the movie, Danny Torrence, a child with psychic tendencies, becomes possessed by his demonic, imaginary friend “Tony”, who speaks through Danny’s index finger. At one point, Tony emphatically croaks, “Redrum! Redrum!” Nobody can figure out what this means until his mother sees that, in the mirror, it spells, “murder”.
I’m not suggesting the president is losing his mind. But looking at the photo of Bush and the screech owl–if an election were held tomorrow–I think most people would vote for the one with the feathers.
So it has come to this–the leader of the world’s only super power, having to insist he is relevant. It’s like saying, “I’m not a lame duck. I’m not! I’m not!”
With 15 months to go in his term, Bush is already mired in two messy wars and trying his best to start a third one in Iran as his approve rating in the latest Reuters/Zogby poll has slid to an all-time record low of 24 percent. Meanwhile, that poker-faced stiff he beat out for the presidency, Al Gore, has won a Nobel Peace Prize. There was only one thing to do now–find some endangered fish to protect. That would show those limp-wristed liberals he could be just as environmentally friendly as Saint Gore.
An Associated Press photo showed the president in an open-collared shirt and a jacket with his name embroidered on it, safely holding a tiny screech owl in what looked like a big welding glove. Bush was touring the Patuxent Research Refuge in Laurel Md., fishing for rockfish and pledging to make the world safer for striped bass.
Experts point out that the striped bass is not an endangered species and doesn’t especially need legislation to build up its population. But there are a lot of fishermen who like striped bass and it was no doubt comforting to hear the president say he likes them too. Bush explained, “We’ve got to make sure we’ve got enough to catch as well as enough to eat, and we can do both in a smart way.” If there were any striped bass listening to the president’s speech, they are now probably making themselves as scarce as possible.
The other fish Mr. Bush sought to nurture is the big, easily-spooked trophy fish known as the red drum. Bush signed an executive order on October 20, declaring the red drum a protected game fish that cannot be sold if caught in federal waters.
Maybe it’s just getting close to Halloween. But the name “red drum” makes me think of that Stephen King movie, “The Shining” in which everybody goes crazy and hacks each other to bits. In the movie, Danny Torrence, a child with psychic tendencies, becomes possessed by his demonic, imaginary friend “Tony”, who speaks through Danny’s index finger. At one point, Tony emphatically croaks, “Redrum! Redrum!” Nobody can figure out what this means until his mother sees that, in the mirror, it spells, “murder”.
I’m not suggesting the president is losing his mind. But looking at the photo of Bush and the screech owl–if an election were held tomorrow–I think most people would vote for the one with the feathers.