Why Men Cheat vs Why Women Cheat
Ruth Houston
October 15, 2007
What makes a person in a marriage or committed relationship cheat on their spouse or significant other? Surprisingly, the answer depends on whether you’re talking about a cheating woman or a cheating man. Men and women cheat for different reasons. Several infidelity studies found that men and women who are cheating on their spouses gave different reasons to justify their extramarital affairs.
The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat
For most men, sex is the primary motivating factor for cheating on their mate. The majority of the reasons cheating men give for their infidelity were directly or indirectly related to sex.
On the other hand, cheating women give different reasons for having an extramarital affair. The primary motivating factors for cheating wives are related to unmet emotional needs or dissatisfaction with their marriage, or their mate.
Below are the 10 most common reasons cheating husbands and cheating wives use to justify their extramarital affairs:
10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
sexual variety (the desire for different type of sex or particular sex act)
opportunistic sex ( presented with an opportunity to have sex without getting caught)
to satisfy sexual curiosity (about having sex with a particular person)
to reaffirm his sexuality
a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
the “thrill of the chase”
the desire to feel important or special ( an ego boost)
peer pressure
sexual addiction
10 Reasons Why Women Cheat
lack of emotional intimacy (a desire for a close emotional bond)
dissatisfaction with her mate
marital or relationship unhappiness
a desire for male attention
to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
to re-experience feelings of romance
a desire to feel “special”
boredom
loneliness
sexual excitement
The Bottom Line on Why Men and Women Cheat
Men tend to cheat largely for physical or sexual reasons, while women cheat for emotional reasons. There are several studies on infidelity that bear that out. One study, in particular, found that 75% to 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was the primary reason. Only 20% of the women who were having extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.
Of course, the reasons listed above aren’t the only reasons cheating men and cheating women are unfaithful to their mates. There are other reasons as well. But these were the ones most frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who were willing to discuss why they were having an extramarital affair.
Most Cheaters Get Away With Cheating on their Mates
Studies further indicate that most infidelity goes undetected. The majority of cheating spouses get away with cheating on their mates. In one study, 70% of married women and 54% of married men had no idea their spouse was having an extramarital affair. Another study found that 60% of the cheating spouses said their partner did not know about their affair.
Why Most Cheaters Don’t Get Caught
There’s a reason why so many cheating spouses get away with cheating on their mates. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not because the innocent partner is in denial. Most people are woefully uninformed or misinformed about signs of infidelity. They may realize that something is somehow wrong with their marriage or relationship – that something is lacking, that the relationship is not all that it could be. But because of their unfamiliarity with the signs of infidelity, they don't realize that the underlying problem is undetected infidelity.
If more people knew how to recognize the warning signs of infidelity, more marriages could be saved. After all, the first step to solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists. The best way to protect a marriage or relationship is to familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity. To receive a FREE Report describing the 21 major categories of infidelity signs, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “21 major categories-ac ” in the subject line.
The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat
For most men, sex is the primary motivating factor for cheating on their mate. The majority of the reasons cheating men give for their infidelity were directly or indirectly related to sex.
On the other hand, cheating women give different reasons for having an extramarital affair. The primary motivating factors for cheating wives are related to unmet emotional needs or dissatisfaction with their marriage, or their mate.
Below are the 10 most common reasons cheating husbands and cheating wives use to justify their extramarital affairs:
10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
sexual variety (the desire for different type of sex or particular sex act)
opportunistic sex ( presented with an opportunity to have sex without getting caught)
to satisfy sexual curiosity (about having sex with a particular person)
to reaffirm his sexuality
a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
the “thrill of the chase”
the desire to feel important or special ( an ego boost)
peer pressure
sexual addiction
10 Reasons Why Women Cheat
lack of emotional intimacy (a desire for a close emotional bond)
dissatisfaction with her mate
marital or relationship unhappiness
a desire for male attention
to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
to re-experience feelings of romance
a desire to feel “special”
boredom
loneliness
sexual excitement
The Bottom Line on Why Men and Women Cheat
Men tend to cheat largely for physical or sexual reasons, while women cheat for emotional reasons. There are several studies on infidelity that bear that out. One study, in particular, found that 75% to 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was the primary reason. Only 20% of the women who were having extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.
Of course, the reasons listed above aren’t the only reasons cheating men and cheating women are unfaithful to their mates. There are other reasons as well. But these were the ones most frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who were willing to discuss why they were having an extramarital affair.
Most Cheaters Get Away With Cheating on their Mates
Studies further indicate that most infidelity goes undetected. The majority of cheating spouses get away with cheating on their mates. In one study, 70% of married women and 54% of married men had no idea their spouse was having an extramarital affair. Another study found that 60% of the cheating spouses said their partner did not know about their affair.
Why Most Cheaters Don’t Get Caught
There’s a reason why so many cheating spouses get away with cheating on their mates. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not because the innocent partner is in denial. Most people are woefully uninformed or misinformed about signs of infidelity. They may realize that something is somehow wrong with their marriage or relationship – that something is lacking, that the relationship is not all that it could be. But because of their unfamiliarity with the signs of infidelity, they don't realize that the underlying problem is undetected infidelity.
If more people knew how to recognize the warning signs of infidelity, more marriages could be saved. After all, the first step to solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists. The best way to protect a marriage or relationship is to familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity. To receive a FREE Report describing the 21 major categories of infidelity signs, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “21 major categories-ac ” in the subject line.