Attorney Roy Pearson lost his pants, his suit and $54 million dollars, but had his day in court
Dan Brawner
June 26, 2007
Washington DC lawyer Roy Pearson lost his $54 million lawsuit against his dry cleaner whom he claimed misplaced his pants. According to ABC News, Pearson, who represented himself in court, broke down and cried while questioning himself about the mental anguish of losing his pants. He claimed they cost $800.
I’ve never had an $800 pair of pants, let alone a $54 million pair of pants. But if I had, I know I would feel strongly about them, too. I’ve got this great pair of fishing pants made of nylon that convert to shorts by unzipping the legs. I’ve never used this feature. In fact, I’ve never even taken them fishing, but I insist on my legal right to do so. I’ve got a pair of baggy, khaki pants with an elastic waistband that are indispensable for barbeques and Thanksgiving. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. (Maybe eat less.)
Lately, many news commentators have been ridiculing Mr. Pearson for his extravagant pants suit. Maybe it’s a guy thing. A lot of guys–I’m not saying me–but a lot of guys have nightmares about losing their pants–showing up for work late, in a hurry. Suddenly everybody in the office is laughing at them. They look down and–oh, my gosh– no pants! Hey, it could happen.
I mean, how could you put a price on embarrassment like that? The price Pearson claimed over the loss of his pants was $1 million in “emotional damages”–plus, of course, reasonable attorney fees. Okay, maybe he did have other pants. But perhaps the reason Mr. Pearson lost his pants suit was not that his case was without merit, but that he was a bad courtroom lawyer. What if he had shown up at the trial WITHOUT HIS PANTS and thrown himself on the mercy of the court? I bet Judge Judith Bartnoff would have seen him in a totally different light.
Why, you ask, must we be subjected to silly news stories like the one about Roy Pearson and his missing pants? It’s not as if most trial lawyers would sue a family of hard-working immigrant shopkeepers for $54 million over a pair of pants. We have these stories because they remind us of how reasonable and nice the rest of us are. No matter how upset we might be when we don’t get our way, we would never behave like that. And these stories also serve as a warning for businesses to provide good service–because you never know when some customer might go “Roy Pearson” on you.
I’ve never had an $800 pair of pants, let alone a $54 million pair of pants. But if I had, I know I would feel strongly about them, too. I’ve got this great pair of fishing pants made of nylon that convert to shorts by unzipping the legs. I’ve never used this feature. In fact, I’ve never even taken them fishing, but I insist on my legal right to do so. I’ve got a pair of baggy, khaki pants with an elastic waistband that are indispensable for barbeques and Thanksgiving. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. (Maybe eat less.)
Lately, many news commentators have been ridiculing Mr. Pearson for his extravagant pants suit. Maybe it’s a guy thing. A lot of guys–I’m not saying me–but a lot of guys have nightmares about losing their pants–showing up for work late, in a hurry. Suddenly everybody in the office is laughing at them. They look down and–oh, my gosh– no pants! Hey, it could happen.
I mean, how could you put a price on embarrassment like that? The price Pearson claimed over the loss of his pants was $1 million in “emotional damages”–plus, of course, reasonable attorney fees. Okay, maybe he did have other pants. But perhaps the reason Mr. Pearson lost his pants suit was not that his case was without merit, but that he was a bad courtroom lawyer. What if he had shown up at the trial WITHOUT HIS PANTS and thrown himself on the mercy of the court? I bet Judge Judith Bartnoff would have seen him in a totally different light.
Why, you ask, must we be subjected to silly news stories like the one about Roy Pearson and his missing pants? It’s not as if most trial lawyers would sue a family of hard-working immigrant shopkeepers for $54 million over a pair of pants. We have these stories because they remind us of how reasonable and nice the rest of us are. No matter how upset we might be when we don’t get our way, we would never behave like that. And these stories also serve as a warning for businesses to provide good service–because you never know when some customer might go “Roy Pearson” on you.