Preserving Life Stories: Alli Joseph Views the Life Cycle in Technicolor

NEW YORK - For Alli Joseph, Founder and President of Seventh Generation Stories, the death of her mother and birth of her daughter changed her career as she started preserving life stories.

"In 2008, inspiration either hit me over the head or whispered in my ear. I was a TV host, producer and writer for many years. My mother became ill quite suddenly in 2007, and shortly after was diagnosed with stage four uterine cancer. She passed away following a quick and dirty battle with the disease -- end to end, it was about six months. My mother, the family historian, had tried to tell me the family stories for years, and I did not pay attention. My daughter was born one month after my mother died and I realized a crucial link between generations had been irreparably broken. After feeling as though my mother was 'giving me a nudge' from beyond, I decided to shift directions and pursue a service-based business that would help individuals, families and organizations benefit from my mistake: not capturing my family's stories directly from my mother when she was still alive," Alli explained. "The nice part is that there is a beautiful confluence of all my skills learned over the past 15 years; the writing, producing, public speaking/on-camera work, journalism, advertising creative work, and public relations all dovetail so well in this personal and family historian job. It's rich and rewarding."

Using a variety of skills, Alli creates books and videos to document and preserve life stories. "So far, I've had an even split between requests for books and videos. The choice of format is very personal, however, and it's something that we talk with clients about in their initial free consultation. Some people feel more inclined towards a video project, others a narrative book, scrapbook, or something else entirely. The artier set might prefer an heirloom quilt or other personal fabric or art piece. The videos need not only include photos: I will and can include any kind of memorabilia or media the client has, such as outdated media footage like VHS, Betamax, cine 8, hi 8, etc. Since Seventh Generation Stories is built on a Native American oral-tradition ethos, everything we do is based in conserving stories."

The process for the client is described in detail on the Seventh Generation Stories Website, based on three-steps:

Step 1: Complimentary Phone Consultation

Step 2: Project Planning, Interviews, Material Gathering

Step 3: Stories Come Alive

The timing from the beginning of the process to the end result can vary. "Depending on the breadth of the project, it can take from 72 hours to a year, in theory. If I need to produce a simple piece on a short timeline -- for example, a funeral tribute -- this can be done in less than three days. Or, if I only have to interview one person on video and have it edited together with other media, and I'm given that media in a timely way, I can turn the piece in a month or less. Most times, this doesn't happen. Photos are not always readily accessible to the families who submit them, and if I have to interview multiple people in different arms of the family (for example, when I recently flew to Tampa to interview a client's wife's great uncle), it can take longer as I'm working with more content and more details."

Alli has heard some amazing stories while documenting lives.

"I interviewed a Holocaust survivor who told of being pregnant and walking hundreds of miles to cross the border into Germany with her husband, who on the spot, hid their family jewels in her fur coat collar by cutting a hole in it with a knife as the Nazi guards were demanding all their valuables. An amazing, poignant story," Alli reflected. "I feel like I'm honoring my mom, whether I'm saving the stories of someone else's mom or any other family member. My mother was my best friend, closest confidante and a truly good spirit. My loss of her was mirrored by the birth of my daughter Lola Jane (named in part for Mom) a month later -- whom she would so have enjoyed. Mom would have loved that I am doing this work."

It's not only changed Alli's life, it's also changed the lives of people she's helped. "People who've done family histories say it's like an albatross has been lifted; they've finally done what they put off for years, saying each year they'd do it but not fulfilling their promise to themselves and their families. They are thankful they did the work, and hopefully, that they hired someone empathic and professional to help them. Working with Seventh Generation Stories, they accomplish their promise and feel so very good about it. When it's a tribute-type project, as between a couple at their wedding or to parents on a milestone anniversary, there's extreme joy, emotion and satisfaction. My company motto is 'there is no time like the present to save the past' and I believe that in down times, people turn to what's really important: less material things, more family, and making family memories. Often, too, we lose people before their time, and before their departure is expected. I help clients save those memories forever, generally while they still can (excepting funeral tributes).

"I also give public and corporate talks on saving ones' family stories to help empower people to do the work themselves and get inspired now by the telling of my story. They learn during the talk that if they're unable to complete the work on their own, they can always hire me or someone else. The personal history industry is very community-oriented, and referrals are common; the people who offer services kindred to mine tend to work together if they have related skills (e.g. editing vs. writing vs. art direction vs. producing)."

With a smile, Alli comes back to her mother's story and the lessons she's learned. Through her own life experience, she's inspired to stay on the path in helping other families.

"My Mom was the family historian and lived her life in the service of others. The service of love and helping, you might say. She liked good wine, but never spent money on other material things. She wasn't rich, but she had abundant gifts of wisdom and the kind of love she taught me to pass on. She gave her nights, her weekends, her holidays to her students and perfect strangers alike, counseling them as she had done as a young social worker in the 1960s on love, relationships, unwanted pregnancies, abuse, and much else of difficulty. Barbara, in the truest sense, paid it forward. Learning of her illness, I wondered when she would be paid back in the currency of love, which she [sic] expended so much of. She turned her helping heart and mind to me countless times throughout our time together, and tried when I was a journalist and producer in my 20s, to tell me her family's stories. In the end, I failed to get all I could have, had I been paying attention earlier. I felt cheated. My daughter would not have Grandma Bobbie's wonderful stories at her fingertips, and I knew this could have been avoided. It became my greatest regret. But, out of this regret came the inspiration to help others benefit from the terrible mistake I made.

"One wintry day in Ann Arbor, Michigan, confounded by my loss, exhausted as a new mother, confused about what next to do with my life, I got an answer in the subtlest of ways. Walking down a frozen street, a friend shared a story about her formative years -- told me of being sent to boarding school in Switzerland, away from a difficult family situation, by loving grandparents. We had been friends for years, and I had never heard this story; I wondered if her three children had either, and just like that, it hit me. Mom gave me a shove towards the service of love. I knew this was what I should do."

Soon after her mother's passing and with her daughter in her arms, Alli founded Seventh Generation Stories and brought to it her 15-year background as a reporter, producer, writer, published author and documentary filmmaker.

"My rich ethnic heritage -- I'm Jewish, English, Irish, Shinnecock Indian and African American -- informs the work that I now do, as does Native American oral-history traditions and the conservation philosophy of the Seventh Generation (act in a way that will positively affect seven generations living after you). And so, as my mom gave her life to the service of love, I try to do the same. I also lecture to non-profits and other groups about the import of saving their elders' stories as I failed to do, and in so doing teach people how to do the work themselves. When speaking to audiences, I implore them to care now, not later. As a result, perhaps, I see more people showing the kind of love to their families and elders that I learned the need for, the hard way. It's like the old adage, 'Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.' If more people know how to do this work, they can help themselves save stories of love, and in the service of love, teach others. It's my way of paying it forward, and hopefully, paying Mom back. At least, I like to think so. I believe that if she's out there somewhere, or her essence or soul is, she's proud of what I'm doing and me. She never was very fond of my work in entertainment media and advertising, and though she didn't voice any disapproval, I could tell. Being a humanitarian, she felt, I suppose, that I could be doing something more useful to society. So now I'm trying to do that."

As a result of her own story, it is of considerable importance to Alli that the integrity of a person's story is preserved through the process.

"We take great care to be sensitive to the challenges of family politics and skeletons – and let me tell you, most people have some ready to pop out of the proverbial closet when you least expect it. I am often in a difficult position to downplay, massage or completely remove stories about familial abuse, alcoholism, and other family troubles. It is at these moments that I remind myself that this is not journalism; people have a right to remember their family any way they choose, and as Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote, 'Life is not that which one lived, but that which one remembers, and how one remembers to tell it.' So true, and at Seventh Generation Stories, we are charged with helping to save those stories so they can be told again and again."

With Alli's spirited energy and focus, families can tell that she loves her new vocation.

"I've become an evangelist, in the best sense of the word, for the work that I am doing and always advocate that younger people become more interested in doing it as well. Once a beloved relative is gone, or a company one invested one's life in has closed, all that we may have left besides money or other material wealth are photos, perhaps videos, and memories."

There are many ways to tell a story and family recipe books are becoming an incredible way to revisit the past as it merges with the present. "In fact, I expect to start working with a woman in the next few months on her family's life story told through the recipes (including visuals) from her mother's family in Italy, which have been passed down for a few generations," Alli said. "It typifies her mom, she says, and I think it's a wonderful way to honor the family matriarch."

With the holidays upon us, if grandma (or grandpa) is aging, documenting her life story would be a wonderful gift.

"Honoring our elders is a key theme in the Native American heritage I have. I see beauty and light, release and sometimes, redemption in the stories of my clients and the feelings they experience once they share their stories for posterity. It's so important to get grandma's stories while she can still tell them clearly, before she becomes confused or infirm -- which may well happen at some point. I specialize in the living and their stories, leaving the dead to genealogists, generally speaking. All of our elders have a rich legacy to leave, and wisdom to impart, whether they think so or not. Unlike material gifts that will be forgotten by next year, doing a personal history for grandma is something that will get pulled out around the Christmas table or fire year after year. And even if the project ends up in a bookcase one year instead of on the coffee table or the TV stand, I guarantee that after all the food has been had and the presents opened, or the menorah candles have burned down -- someone will remember. And then, even after grandma is no longer physically in the room, she will be."

For more information on Alli Joseph visit Seventh Generation Stories or call (917) 602-1004.

Pictured: Alli Joseph, Founder and President of Seventh Generation Stories