The Total Woman
Llewelyn Muriel Austria-del Rosario
August 05, 2006
She doesn’t exist. Multi-media will try to convince you otherwise, but don’t let them fool you. Being a wife and mother is already a full-time job. Add a flourishing career in there and that may help explain why more women have mood disorders like never before—both World Wars included! It’s very simple. Something’s got to give.
I find it highly amusing when my contemporaries, mostly career women, automatically assume that I have a problem conceiving just because I want to simplify my life to make room for a baby. A couple of decades ago, it would have been inconceivable not to do so. These days, a husband, children and a household to manage are not good enough reasons for women to slow down!
Contemporary women have bought into the bellief that equality between the sexes means having similar roles in a marriage. Almost to the point where women in this century typically look down on full time housewives or consider it odd that driven, highly successful women choose to slow down to make room for home making and child-rearing.
Recently, women not only have to manage the house. They have taken it upon themselves to pay for it as well. And all this under the battle cry of women’s liberation. My response is, liberation from what? Liberation to take on more work?
Everywhere you turn, you’ll see the ‘total woman’ heralded as the woman of the millennia. She’s often portrayed as a strong, stoic, self-sufficient, go-getter, who has it all together.
Unfortunately, real life is a lot messier than that—it’s difficult to have it together when you suspect your house help may be aliens sent to torment you, when you’re experiencing personal and marital difficulties, when the baby is crying and you need to be working.
There seems to be a lot of confusion these days about what makes a woman successful. Most housewives are a little embarrassed to admit they are full time home-makers. We often confuse home-making with housekeeping.
You can delegate housekeeping to your maids, but-home making is solely a wife’s domain. Anybody can clean the house and wash clothes, but managing the house still falls squarely on the wife’s shoulders. You can delegate babysitting to yayas, but child rearing is still largely a mother’s job.
In an era where being a wife and mother is not celebrated, I’d like to say—congratulations to mothers who gave so much of themselves to make home a haven of rest, relaxation and restoration. Thank you for changing society by raising the next generation of Filipinos.
I find it highly amusing when my contemporaries, mostly career women, automatically assume that I have a problem conceiving just because I want to simplify my life to make room for a baby. A couple of decades ago, it would have been inconceivable not to do so. These days, a husband, children and a household to manage are not good enough reasons for women to slow down!
Contemporary women have bought into the bellief that equality between the sexes means having similar roles in a marriage. Almost to the point where women in this century typically look down on full time housewives or consider it odd that driven, highly successful women choose to slow down to make room for home making and child-rearing.
Recently, women not only have to manage the house. They have taken it upon themselves to pay for it as well. And all this under the battle cry of women’s liberation. My response is, liberation from what? Liberation to take on more work?
Everywhere you turn, you’ll see the ‘total woman’ heralded as the woman of the millennia. She’s often portrayed as a strong, stoic, self-sufficient, go-getter, who has it all together.
Unfortunately, real life is a lot messier than that—it’s difficult to have it together when you suspect your house help may be aliens sent to torment you, when you’re experiencing personal and marital difficulties, when the baby is crying and you need to be working.
There seems to be a lot of confusion these days about what makes a woman successful. Most housewives are a little embarrassed to admit they are full time home-makers. We often confuse home-making with housekeeping.
You can delegate housekeeping to your maids, but-home making is solely a wife’s domain. Anybody can clean the house and wash clothes, but managing the house still falls squarely on the wife’s shoulders. You can delegate babysitting to yayas, but child rearing is still largely a mother’s job.
In an era where being a wife and mother is not celebrated, I’d like to say—congratulations to mothers who gave so much of themselves to make home a haven of rest, relaxation and restoration. Thank you for changing society by raising the next generation of Filipinos.