Bear's Den: "A little 'Porky'... some 'old salt' and a little dab of ACORN, please?"
David Walks-As-Bear
May 10, 2009
When I was a kid, I spent excellent days with my Uncle Carol. They were some of my best memories of kiddom, and I learned much from this zish'eh (uncle). He was never much of a farmer, but boy could he hunt. He brought in we-o-the (fresh meat) for the family during the depression, when that commodity was harder to come by than an untaxed item is today. In his youth, he´d constantly hunted the Tennessee River bottoms – day in and day out – and he knew so much about the wild ones and the Indian measuring of them. It was he who first told me about porcupine. Now, in most American Indian oral stories, porcupine travels with amag-ah-qua (beaver). Both porcupine and beaver are known for their gentleness; they have this in common. Yeah and while the beaver is the biggest rodent in these lands, porcupine holds the number two slot. They eat similar things, too, but this is where beaver and porcupine begin to differ, because beavers do starve in harsh winters. But my Uncle Carol said, "Son, if you wanna see how´ta survive a winter, then you watch that dadgown old porky – he´ll make it when nuthin´ else will." And boy, was he right. It´s partly porcupine´s tenacity for finding food that Indians admire so much. Well, that, and the fact that he, himself, is a great winter food source, eh.
For many Indians, time, in the form of years, has always been adjudged by winters. Winters were harsh and food was scarce so surviving them was a big deal. Thus, a year was usually called ´a winter´. Because porkies made it through most winters, they´ve always been a viable food source for American Indians when times were lean. Now, porcupines are slow moving, but they have powerful claws and teeth that enable them to pry food from places where other animals can´t or won´t even attempt to gather it. Yess´um, and when you add that to a dedicated resolve to get what they´re after, they make out just fine. But, like all of the Creator´s creatures, they also have their weaknesses. A porky is attracted to salt in even the tiniest of amounts. Indians often baited traps for them with sweaty clothing for this reason. Porcupines don´t receive enough potassium through their diet, so they´re always looking for extra salt. Yep, and this has made for many a porky pot roast meal.
Yet, although both beaver and porcupine are gentle, porcupine has a sting that beaver doesn´t. If any animal or two-legged tries to harm him or thwart porcupine´s mission by getting too close... then the inhibiter will not only see but will also feel.... the ´point´. Yep, that´s because kakwas have up to 30,000 quills covering their bodies, and those quills are very sharp and barbed to boot.
Now, contrary to popular belief, porcupines can´t shoot their quills. The quills are actually just a form of hair. When threatened, this hair puffs up about the same as the goose bump that rises on a two-legged. This makes the quills come out very easily when touched. Oh yeah, and when they´re stuck in flesh they´re extremely painful, and sometimes deadly, due to infection. A porky´s quills are actually equipped with a natural anti-biotic, designed just for him, in case he sticks himself by falling from a tree or whatever. Overall, it's his tenacious survivability combined with his food value and excellent defense capacity which have made kakwa, and his quills, so highly regarded by American Indians. We use porcupine quills to decorate everything from clothing to moccasins and headdresses. Yep, and we weave them into containers of birch bark, hide and other precious doo-dads as a tribute to this pointy rodent.
Porcupines absolutely do go after salt, and they do eat acorns. Yeah, and that brings me to back to siccing a porky on the "Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now", or ACORN. This supposedly non-partisan, non-profit agency doesn´t seem to be either of those two things. Legally they have to be both... in order to operate. Yet, many of its members are under indictment and investigation in numerous states for voter registration fraud. These illicit activities have to do with only ´one´ political party, which makes them much more partisan than non-partisan. Uh-huh, and allegedly there is some big money being funneled into this ´non-profit´ organization, as well. Now, that may mean there are some very ´old salts´ of political power, at the highest levels of the federal government, that are deeply intertwined with ACORN. And those people in Congress that are so entangled, well... they seem to be mighty spooked that some tenacious individual may look into this group. These politicos may be afraid that this poking... will shed light on something that they... would much rather stayed in the shade.
Yes´sir, that´s why I´m thinking that a kakwa should be turned loose on ACORN. Because it´ll take this kind´a tenacity and old salt sniffing... to find what needs to be found. Sure, and if it´s there, then you can bet your boots that this painful poking will make any shady two-leggeds in the shadows move smartly into the light... for all of us to see.
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Here´s an old American Indian recipe for porky pot roast, in case you wanna give it a try. It works well for politicians, too, but man... Hannibal Lector says that they have an awful, awful lot... of tallow... hmm.
Ingredients:
1 average size kakwa (porcupine)
1 teaspoon minced wild garlic (or domestic)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup fat (or oil)
1/4 teaspoon wild sage (or pickling spices, or whatever you prefer)
1/2 cup water for fresh porcupine (none if frozen)Pumpkin, squash, beans, potatoes, corn, or whatever fresh vegetables suit your taste.
Cut the porky into desired sized pieces (about 2 or 3 lbs of meat) and place in a Dutch Oven. Add water and raw vegetables. Pour the fat (oil) over the meat and add salt, pepper, garlic and your desired spices. Cover and cook on top of stove with the burner low. Simmer about three hours, stirring occasionally, until tender and done to taste. Served traditionally over American wild rice.
Note: the chef from "Silence of the Lambs" states that no oil is needed if substituting a politician for the porky meat – they´re plenty greasy enough, already.
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David Walks-As-Bear is an Inter-Tribal Elder and Kispoko Shawnee Indian. He works as a private game warden and detective and is a novelist and syndicated newspaper columnist living in Northwest Michigan. Contact him at The White Lake Beacon: 231-894-5356 or visit his website at: www.Walks-As-Bear.com