Every individual, regardless of race, creed, color, sex, or age, inherently has a set of values. We each have something we think is most important, second most important, third most important, and so on. We call this set of priorities a hierarchy of values.
Our individual hierarchies determine how we sense the world, filter those perceptions, and interpret and react to what we feel and think as a result. Imagine a husband and wife. Her highest values are raising her children, educating them, and safeguarding the health of her family. His highest values are making money, building resources and business, and providing for his family. (I don’t mean to spread stereotypes here, but we’ll explore this scenario since it’s so common.)
Imagine this couple walking hand in hand, going shopping. As they stroll the plaza, she sees things he doesn’t. And he sees things she doesn’t.
She sees toys for the kids, school clothes, books and games that will help her children learn, healthy snacks, and brochures for family activities—all kinds of items that align with her values. She’ll notice and filter her vision through her unique set of values.
Her husband will walk through the plaza and see none of those things. In fact, his eyes will avoid them. He’ll see the Wall Street Journal, computers, books and
magazines for entrepreneurs, gifts for clients—anything that might help him in
business or finances or in his intellectual development, because those are his values.
The hierarchy of their values—not gender or anything else—determines how they filter their reality and filter their environment. Therefore, they see opportunities accordingly. What they realize through their senses is their reality, and they will determine their reality according to the value systems they project.
I’ll repeat: You cannot expect any human beings to live in any way other than what their values dictate.
Write that in your heart, because it’s an important principle. All human beings act according to their own values! Many times, we project our value system onto other people, expecting them to live accordingly, rather than honoring them as they live according to their own. Any time you expect someone to live anything but their own value system, you create a false expectation. However, you can choose to learn the art of communicating your values in terms of their values. In direct proportion to how well you can do that, they will then live according to their value system, but in a way that satisfies yours while it satisfies theirs.
For example, Mary and Todd are figuring out whether to buy a new car or not. Mary says, “Yes, we need a new car because the one we have is outdated, we can afford a new one, and besides, we deserve to treat ourselves because we both work so hard.” Todd says, “No, what about our retirement fund?” He thinks a down payment on a new car, raised insurance rates, plus the monthly payments will cut too sharply into their ability to save.
After Mary gives this some thought, she figures out a way to give Todd what he
would love while getting what she would love, too: She estimates how much they’ve been spending on maintenance and fuel (the old car is a gas-guzzling SUV) and shows him how that would be offset when they purchase a two-year-old, “gently used” but fuel-efficient car. She shows him that their insurance premium would stay about the same, and that they can put down cash for more than half the purchase price and pay off the rest of the car in a little more than a year.
They can recoup their investment in just under two years with the savings on gas and maintenance. Both people’s values are more fully honored and understood. Taking the time to consider and communicate our own values in terms of others’ pays many dividends.
12 Questions to help you determine your values?
1. How do you fill your space?
2. How do you spend your time?
3. How do you spend your energy?
4. How do you spend your money?
5. Where are you most organized?
6. Where are you most disciplined?
7. What do you think about?
8. What do you visualize?
9. What do you talk to yourself about?
10. What do you talk with others about?
11. What do you react to?
12. What are your goals?
For more about Dr. Demartini’s teachings, please visit www.drdemartini.com.
About Dr. John Demartini
Come join Dr. Demartini in Chicago. He will be speaking for two nights on April 19 and April 20, 2007.
Public Talk- The Secret to Life Mastery Special Screening of “The Secret” Movie”
April 19 – 7:00pm Unity Church-1925 West Thome Ave. Chicago
Advance tickets required www.ticketweb.com
Public Talk- Secret Laws of Attraction
April 20 – 7:30pm-9:30pm Marriott O’Hare - Advance tickets required
www.ticketweb.com
Our individual hierarchies determine how we sense the world, filter those perceptions, and interpret and react to what we feel and think as a result. Imagine a husband and wife. Her highest values are raising her children, educating them, and safeguarding the health of her family. His highest values are making money, building resources and business, and providing for his family. (I don’t mean to spread stereotypes here, but we’ll explore this scenario since it’s so common.)
Imagine this couple walking hand in hand, going shopping. As they stroll the plaza, she sees things he doesn’t. And he sees things she doesn’t.
She sees toys for the kids, school clothes, books and games that will help her children learn, healthy snacks, and brochures for family activities—all kinds of items that align with her values. She’ll notice and filter her vision through her unique set of values.
Her husband will walk through the plaza and see none of those things. In fact, his eyes will avoid them. He’ll see the Wall Street Journal, computers, books and
magazines for entrepreneurs, gifts for clients—anything that might help him in
business or finances or in his intellectual development, because those are his values.
The hierarchy of their values—not gender or anything else—determines how they filter their reality and filter their environment. Therefore, they see opportunities accordingly. What they realize through their senses is their reality, and they will determine their reality according to the value systems they project.
I’ll repeat: You cannot expect any human beings to live in any way other than what their values dictate.
Write that in your heart, because it’s an important principle. All human beings act according to their own values! Many times, we project our value system onto other people, expecting them to live accordingly, rather than honoring them as they live according to their own. Any time you expect someone to live anything but their own value system, you create a false expectation. However, you can choose to learn the art of communicating your values in terms of their values. In direct proportion to how well you can do that, they will then live according to their value system, but in a way that satisfies yours while it satisfies theirs.
For example, Mary and Todd are figuring out whether to buy a new car or not. Mary says, “Yes, we need a new car because the one we have is outdated, we can afford a new one, and besides, we deserve to treat ourselves because we both work so hard.” Todd says, “No, what about our retirement fund?” He thinks a down payment on a new car, raised insurance rates, plus the monthly payments will cut too sharply into their ability to save.
After Mary gives this some thought, she figures out a way to give Todd what he
would love while getting what she would love, too: She estimates how much they’ve been spending on maintenance and fuel (the old car is a gas-guzzling SUV) and shows him how that would be offset when they purchase a two-year-old, “gently used” but fuel-efficient car. She shows him that their insurance premium would stay about the same, and that they can put down cash for more than half the purchase price and pay off the rest of the car in a little more than a year.
They can recoup their investment in just under two years with the savings on gas and maintenance. Both people’s values are more fully honored and understood. Taking the time to consider and communicate our own values in terms of others’ pays many dividends.
12 Questions to help you determine your values?
1. How do you fill your space?
2. How do you spend your time?
3. How do you spend your energy?
4. How do you spend your money?
5. Where are you most organized?
6. Where are you most disciplined?
7. What do you think about?
8. What do you visualize?
9. What do you talk to yourself about?
10. What do you talk with others about?
11. What do you react to?
12. What are your goals?
For more about Dr. Demartini’s teachings, please visit www.drdemartini.com.
About Dr. John Demartini
Come join Dr. Demartini in Chicago. He will be speaking for two nights on April 19 and April 20, 2007.
Public Talk- The Secret to Life Mastery Special Screening of “The Secret” Movie”
April 19 – 7:00pm Unity Church-1925 West Thome Ave. Chicago
Advance tickets required www.ticketweb.com
Public Talk- Secret Laws of Attraction
April 20 – 7:30pm-9:30pm Marriott O’Hare - Advance tickets required
www.ticketweb.com
