What is this thing called love?
This magic thing called love?
I ask the Lord in heaven above
What is this thing called love?
- Pop song from the 40’s).
Since love has been the topic of countless articles, books, discussions, and sleepless nights, I might as well explain how I got interested. I have long been addicted to popular songs, especially love songs. They play in my head, usually uninvited, and often at odd hours, living me reeling with emotion. But often, I hear the question again and again, from a disillusioned generation- ‘does true love really exist’?
Well, this is not surprising some of the affairs we witness in our society today are most often than not based directly/or indirectly on physical appearances and/or sexual attraction, and have lacked that strong feeling called love; which comprises yearning for each other, sharing, laughing together and being life companions of each other, forever being friends.
These are some of the attributes missing in some of our marriages today. I think in most cases what we have in our societies, is the husband and wife caught in the trap of "farz" and marriage is needed to be socially acceptable and they basically just get fed up of each other within first 2-3 years. After that its just same old life and its responsibilities and of course, the daily capsule of sex.
The relationship that i believe we should be fostering in our lives and marriages is "friendship"- understanding, sharing, and laughing.
I think true love can exists between couples when they decide to be mature in heart.
However, today, what you find is that most of the couples come to know they are in love only when they start missing each other, like if one of them goes out of station for a year and they wept for one another (a nice proof to their minds that they are in love) and they think it just "happened" to them-they never knew it before. That is not love, that is just missing and after a while you will be fine with that. If it were love, it should exist for all time
Again, some couples just start pretending to themselves that they are in love or like modify some other feeling(s) as love. I have seen this in many affairs. I think there are a lot of other feelings which seem to be close to love but they are not, just misspelled as "love" .
And above all, if a "pure" thing as true love is to exist, then first it has to be far far away from sexual attraction/physical appearance and second it has to be "forever".
In the end, TRUE LOVE can exist between couples -- but it is rare! True love is based on sacrifice, where you totally give, 100% to the beloved, and expect nothing in return.
Great saints have come to this world with true love, and are usually misunderstood because they love everyone! They see the good in everyone!
The best way to express TRUE LOVE is to try to be selfless and kind, and first of all love God and then hope to love God's creation as well. God loves all His creations, which is obvious, because God breathes in all of us all the time, until death when we return home to God. As for the typical human relationships, mostly they are based on attachment, lust, or social convenience. But if two people make every effort to live as the tenets of God would want us to live, and marry consciously with the aspiration to blend our souls into one, and to serve and support each other, I believe that will grow into TRUE LOVE.
